When addressing the issues of gender inequality – or really any inequality – in my experience one of the most damaging tools is language. As children we’re frequently taught that while “sticks and stones may break my bones, words can never harm me.” This may have been one of the most misleading lessons of my youth. I am perpetually impressed with my body’s ability to recover from the physical breaks and strains that it is subjected to, whereas my mind has the ability to internalise and exaggerate every slight that comes its way – forming my myriad of ever evolving insecurities and neuroses.
Language has played a critical role in my journey towards identifying as a feminist. As a teenager I avoided the label. I liked boys and I wanted them to like me back. As far as I was concerned the second you spoke out as a feminist, in the minds of men (and some women), you took on the traits that have somehow become synonymous.
Feminist. Man hater. Lesbian. Frigid. Bitter. Angry. Bitch.
These words are flippantly wielded with the goal of humiliating and hurting their recipient. And for what cause? Are we so afraid of the consequences and power of free thinking women? When the brilliant feminist author, Margaret Atwood, asked a male friend why men fear women, he responded “They’re afraid women will laugh at them.” Could it be as simple and childish as that? Do men attempt to squash the voices of women, to maintain their power and avoid the potential of humiliation?
In my experience men – particularly those with inherent privilege – have far less understanding of the power of words. Perhaps because to them, an insult is just that, an insult, words used to degrade someone or win an argument. Whereas to a woman – or any marginalised individual – words are one of the weapons used to relegate us, and often carry with them the inherent threat of real violence. When Margaret Atwood asked a group of female students the same question, in reverse, their response was indicative of this – “They’re afraid of being killed.”
I wonder how many men realise the power of their words and presence over women. It astounds me that so many men are so fearful of the ‘ominous’ feminist (someone who has historically fought for the equality of the sexes – ALL of them). Perhaps if these men could place themselves in our shoes for a day, they would understand the gravity of their words and how they translate to actions.
Bad Feminist 